Archive for June, 2010


Triple the kids, triple the… fun?

June 6, 2010

Sometimes I just wonder what people are thinking when they have three kids.  I love kids, they’re wonderful, but I only have two hands. What do you do when with one hand you’re holding the baby back from teetering off the edge of the couch, and the other is picking up tea set pieces so the three year old doesn’t start crying, and then the eight-year-old runs straight at you? What do you do?!

Then there are the days where each child presses your buttons in their own special way.  It started when the James wanted to play the board game Trouble. Great, right? Well, he pulls it out, and it’s not a Disney version persay, but in the bubble in the middle that holds the dice, it has a little plastic figure of Stitch.  You know, the alien from Lilo & Stitch?  So to roll, you press on this plastic bubble and it pops and rolls the die. James proceeded to explain how to play: “If you roll a six, you get to move one piece out and roll again, and if Stitch stands up, you get to move a piece out but not roll again, and if you roll a six and Stitch stands up, you get to move a piece out and move it six spaces, but if all your pieces are out and you roll a six and Stitch stands up you move 12 spaces.”  “Okaaaaay,” I said, trying to understand the logic (mistake number one here). “Do you get to roll again then?”  “Um, yes. No! Ok, forget everything I just said,” James exclaimed. Done, I thought. He then explained again, and it was not much more coherent. I suggested we just play and I would understand as we went. So we began, and of course at one point the rules conveniently changed on my turn to benefit him. Nope, he was not getting away with it today.  I pointed out the inconsistency in the rules, at which point he lost interest in playing. Fine by me.

I let James go next door for a playdate.  Molly and I discussed what we should do, and she finally decided upon “music lessons.”  This gem of a game involves getting out all the musical instrument toys she owns, along with anything else that makes noise, and using them all at the same time.  Let me say this: there is a special place in hell reserved for people who make musical toys for children. Now, no words can fully express the “music lessons” experience, luckily I planned ahead, and I can do one better: I can show you. Be sure to watch the whole thing, as it comes to a screaming crescendo at the end:

Now, that lasted about 45 seconds (though I’m sure it seemed longer).  Imagine it going on for 20 minutes.  At that point, I suggested we move on to Princess dress-up, an exhausting but much quieter game.  “Ok, but I’m Belle,” Molly announced.  “What?” I responded, having lost all ability to hear for the next hour.  As I carried Baby Kate to Molly’s room, with no warning at all, she turned towards me, and sneezed violently, directly onto my neck. But it could have been worse, like the time she coughed into my open mouth. Good stuff.  My immune system is going to be rock solid by year’s end.

The sneeze was really the cherry on the end of the day.  But all in all, as much as they sometimes make me want to put my head through the wall because it would be less painful than explaining for the fiftieth time why they can’t have jello, ice cream and a spoonful of peanut butter for lunch, I cherish each day with these kids. They are something special (even if they will never be music stars).